Tuesday, February 8, 2011

To say or not to say

As a mom I have probably said the word "No" more times than I can count.  Most of the time I do it without thinking.  I usually give an explanation like, "No, its time for a nap." Or something along those lines.  But I put the word "no" in the beginning of my statement.  The fact that Cole says "no" to everything is probably because I say it so much, or should I say said it so much.  A typical conversation with Cole goes like this:

Me: "Cole, are you hungry?"

Cole: "No."

Two seconds later.

Cole: "Hungry? Eat peanut butter and jelly."
Hearing the word "no" almost every time I ask him a question gets old.  Most of the time I think he just says it out of habit, even when he does not mean it.

Today, I am working REALLY hard to change this.  My goal is to not say the word "no" today (unless of course he is in danger or something similar).  Instead of saying, "No, Cole you can not have a cookie."  I will say with an extra amount of enthusiasm, "You betcha! Right after you finish lunch."  or " I would love to play cars with you, when you wake of from you nap."  Or if he asked me to do something instead saying,"Okay" or "Yes".  I say "I'd be happy to."  Get the drift?  Yesterday, when we were at Auntie T's house she gave me some insight on how to change the constant "no" response into something positive. Thank you!!

After I have said, "I'd be happy to," to him today he is repeating it.  As if he needs to test out how it sounds.  Derek and I both try to talk like this to one another.  At first it feels forced, but after a time or two it makes communicating so much easier.  The word "no" can seem so harsh, even when it is not intended that way.  Using alternatives to the word "no" makes me think before I talk, and makes saying "no" without really saying "no" have less of an abruptness to it.  Did that make sense? Did you just answer that last question with a "no" or something positive?  :)

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